He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
