how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
