i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
