have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
