So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
