Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
