dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
