I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
