there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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