This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Girls should come with a carfax report
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
