Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
