third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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