I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
