actually, I'm a sock model
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
