I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
