I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
