I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
