I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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