i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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