hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
