I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
