dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
