Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
