Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
