love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Randomize
