If you die in college, do you die in real life?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
