Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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