Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
