The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
