I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
