there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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