Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
