on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
