No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
