By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
