She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
