I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
