she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
