Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
