it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
