A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
