i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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