Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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