Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
