Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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