I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
