if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
