YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How naked do you want me to be?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
