Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
