idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
